Sunday, April 22, 2012

Mannequin Hands Reject: Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure Malt

Happy Sunday, everyone! Y'all having a good weekend? I had a lovely Saturday -- I worked on getting some things together, listened to the Met Opera's NPR broadcast of "Siegfried" (after seeing the HD broadcast last year, I have a heightened appreciation for Wagner and especially tenor Jay Hunter Morris), briefly visited with a dear college friend who was in town for a journalism conference, and watched an awesome movie via Netflix called "Cracks." (Eva Green ... holy crap. I've always liked her, but this movie has converted me to full-on stan.)


Anyway, Malt. If you're wondering why on earth I bought this polish, I can sum it up with one word: clearance!

If you're wondering why on earth I was even interested in buying this polish, I blame the store lighting in Target, which made Malt look like a potential nude polish staple/mannequin hands candidate. I'd already dropped some dollars on two shades from the same Tracy Reese display at the time, so I didn't get Malt until I found it a month or so later in a clearance bin. Since I passed on all but one of the Tracy Reese 2012 spring shades, I figure now is a good time to go back and really examine past purchases.

For the record, this looks waaaaaaaaaaay better in the pictures than it does on me. :/




Three coats with SV.












I don't think this is 100% my mannequin hands shade, but it's close -- it's a closer match to what my hands are like when they're red. It's a bit lobstery in real life. I don't know how to describe it -- band-aid-ish, with red tones?

The formula was okay on this one and it covered the nail in one coat. I honestly think I could have been done at two coats if it hadn't been for the stupid broom brush! Because of the weird width, thickness and shape, I often find myself getting cuticle drag when using wider brushes like these and I have to carefully apply an extra coat to disguise it. I bet this wouldn't be such an issue with a regular tiny brush!

Malt is from Tracy Reese's Spring 2011 collaboration with Sally Hansen. I acquired five of the polishes from her set and one from Prabal Gurung's (which I wound up gifting to Chelsea), and Malt is the third one I've gotten around to trying. PAH-THETIC! Anyway, this shade is still floating around on Amazon and eBay if you're interested in it ... or *cough* you can leave a comment on this post with your e-mail address and we can arrange a swap (if you're in the contintental U.S.) I'm kind of on a time crunch, so this offer is valid for the next 48 hours. *cough*

Questions, comments, concerns re: Malt? Mannequin hands: fug or fashion-friendly? Malt ice cream and milkshakes, or malt liquor?

Although Colt 45 is in every other (alt-)country song ever, I never quite got around to drinking it in college on account of the fact that my school was a PBR school and when it came to 40s, I would go with OE. My most semi-memorable experience with OE was the night I had dinner with a coworker-now-friend at a Chinese buffet/Mongolian BBQ joint (Super King, holla!) before he and I went to another coworker's apartment to pre-game before seeing "Scream 4" at a local second-run movie theater.

WELL
. I was good for the movie, probably because I'd eaten, but then started running into trouble maybe an hour after it because I started going in on mixed drinks another friend was making. I remember telling Mixed Drink Bartender that the 40 was starting to get to me. Somehow it was decided to move the party to Dinner Friend's apartment, so he and I drove a few blocks over and I remember drunk cleaning his kitchen. (WHYYYYYYYY) Things got hazy after that, because then the party moved down the street to another apartment building that was owned by our school at the time and you had to get signed in by a resident if you wanted to visit. That's when the 40 hit me HARD. It was like, "HEY LIZ LEMON, IT'S THE AFTER-AFTER-AFTER PARTY!"

I remember spending practically an hour on the floor and telling someone his roommate was cute and had a great music library before stumbling to the bathroom and throwing up in the most dignified manner a drunk Asian girl can manage. I thought I was fine. Yeah, not so much. I wound up emptying the contents of my stomach right in front of the elevator as I was leaving (I remember someone going, "RACHEL WHEN DID YOU EAT CHINESE FOOD!?!?"). After that night, I was so terrified of going back to that building again lest I get banned for my drunkenness. LMAO. But my friends are still friends with me, so I guess there's that!

/cool story bro


Don't forget that the 2012 Zoya Exchange is underway until 11:59 PM EST tonight! Go place your order if you haven't. :)

18 comments:

  1. I think it looks good on you but I'll take your wOrd if you say the pictures make it look better than in real life.

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    1. Thanks, Stephanie! Believe me, the lobster hands were there. And they were lobstery as heck.

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  2. Urgh, my stomach is churning at all the times I thought it was a good idea to mix bad Chinese takeout and booze. PUKING FOREVER.

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    1. :-O OMG that sounds like a horrible time!!!!!

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  3. Damn, it looks way hella good on you in those photos. Stupid real life!

    Also I think the last time I did something similar was when I drank half of a 6-pack of Guinness before a Flogging Molly show on an empty stomach, had a few more drinks afterward, and then decided that a gigantic burger after the show was A Very Good Idea.

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    1. Fanks lady! <3 You know what, I bet you when I eventually find my perfect mannequin hands shade, it's going to look DISGUSTING in the pictures. That's just the breaks!

      OH GOD EMPTY STOMACH DRINKING. I can't even have one drink on an empty stomach any more ... such a terrible idea. LMAO @ Flogging Molly, I heard they played a high school classmate's wedding!

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  4. bahaha, I really laughed out loud with that story. Sounds far too much like a night my housemate had recently.

    I can't pull off Malt either. it just looks awkward on me. I feel like I wouldn't really know who it looks good on, really. Meh, underwhelmed with the fall Tracy Reese polishes.

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    1. Oh God. Hahaha. That's why I can count on one hand how many severely drunken nights I had in college ... remind me to tell you the story of this time I had half a bottle of vodka with this guy, it was a DISASTUH.

      I'm totally with you as far wondering who Malt looks good on, exactly. Merp. :/

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  5. Oh I really like this!!! Nice photos!! :)

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    1. Thank you, Lynn! It wasn't my perfect shade, but ... oh well. :)

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  6. That's a shame that it didn't work for you! It looks really good in the photos. Nudes and mannequin hands shades are so tricky though...

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    1. Thanks, Naz! I blame it on being Asian -- I'm likening this to the search for a perfect foundation. I haven't even tried embarking on such a quest because I keep hearing horror stories from other Asian girls trying to find theirs!

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  7. Hahahahaha! I just love a good drunk story- but drunk cleaning a kitchen? That's just plain weird! Don't worry most of us have been there and have our own good drink story. Oh the stories I could tell you! You would just die!

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    1. Fingers, this is not the most pathetic drunk story I have ... just probably the busiest and most social? LOL.

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  8. LOL! I love hearing drunk stories =) It sounds like something I would do. Anyways, I think this looks fab on you and although it may not be a 100% exact mannequin match, I actually think it looks pretty damn close!

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    1. Hahahahaha oh my god I think my current relationship started out as a drunk story tbh. And this polish was really f***ing close!!! WAHHHH.

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