It was so. goddamn. embarrassing.
I can't even pretend I'm not still a little traumatized by that. Let me give you some background and show you the nails before I get into all of it, though.
Roughly a month ago, right before Krysi's bridal shower, I found out there was going to be an indie music festival in Richmond. I was about to roll my eyes to high heaven until I looked at the lineup of performers and saw that THE BREEDERS would be there, as would Those Darlins. I'd missed the Breeders when they came to D.C. in May because I'd gone to my friend P's wedding that day, and I didn't think they would swing by the VA area again. I remember saying, "Oh, SHIT" and spending too much money on a presale ticket for a 2-day pass.
Recently I scrolled through Haus of Polish for the first time in ages (that place is like a death trap, in the best possible way) and saw all the swatches of last year's China Glaze Summer Neons. They looked goooooood. And I owned two of them, still untried, so I decided to wear Splish Splash as my NOTWeekend.
--A happy accident, since the Breeders' 1993 album "Last Splash" has become a favorite of mine. Seriously, you cannot claim to be a '90s child and not know the guitar riff from "Cannonball." I'll be real: in 2003, I had no idea there was more to the band that gave us "Cannonball" -- remember, these were the dial-up Internet, pre-Soundhound days, and if you missed the DJ's blurb or the music video titles, you were SOL. But shit yeah, I knew that riff.
I also know this polish is pretty great.
Three coats with SV.
This isn't a neon, per se. It is hella bright, though. And I do love that glowy shimmer -- it elevates Splish Splash from the basic bright creme/neon category. So great.
The thing that really impressed me was its formula. It's very thin, so it looks like crap on the first coat, but it's opaque and amazing at three. It definitely needs to be built up, although the results are worth the effort. I think I was so thrilled with this because I think China Glaze Towel Boy Toy had this same result in mind, but its execution was CRAP. So Splish Splash was a complete upgrade. (I know people love Towel Boy Toy, but I'm sorry ... it needs a reformulation before I share those feelings!) Dry time and tip wear were average. I wore this for six days -- I was busy and didn't have time to change my polish ... at least this was a lot of fun to look at.
And at least my nails looked good before I went down like a 100-pound freshman girl practically trying to get alcohol poisoning on her first night back at campus after Christmas break.
I still have no idea what happened. I went to B's house and took this selfie with Sterling Meowlory before B and I had dinner at a barbecue joint.
Look at how much my precious baby wasn't having it.
Then I raced down to Brown's Island, where the festival was taking place. I had been killing time with B because I didn't want to spend all evening with drunk people by myself until the Breeders; it didn't hit me until Saturday morning that I was going to a music festival all alone-y on my own-y, and why on earth hadn't it occurred to me before then?!?! Anyway, by the time I got there, it was about 8:20-ish and it was starting to get dark. The weather was a bit humid and muggy, since it had rained earlier that day, but it could have been much worse.
You can see how dead it was, which is why I was SUPER confused. I was expecting epic crowds, kind of like what the city gets during the fall Folk Festival. I suppose Saturday night is what happens when you promote your event, oh, ONE MONTH before it starts. Because it was so dead, it took me forever to find the entrance, but the volunteers who helped me find it and greeted me were there pretty rad, so the festival got a point back.
I got my ticket along with my card for three free beers, to which all presale ticketholders were entitled. I stopped by the merch table first to pick up some Breeders swag, and decided on a super $$$ poster -- but I didn't feel bad about it, because it's their LSXX tour right now (20 years since "Last Splash"!). Then I got a beer from the truck, and started scouting for a spot close-ish to the stage. I stood to the left side, close enough to get OK pics, but far enough that if I had to leave for some reason, I wouldn't get trampled. I nursed my beer for the next 30 minutes, and halfway into it, the band came onstage.
I didn't even care that this shot blurs the heck out of Kim Deal's face because KIM DEEEEAAAAAAL.
They started playing through all of "Last Splash." It was EPIC. By that point I think a few more people had turned up, but the numbers were smaller than I thought they would be for a Breeders-loving town. However, the people who were there were having an awesome time. And so was I.
One of my most frustrating problems is that I have a hard time focusing 100% on any one thing, even if it's something I'm doing for fun, like writing a blog post or even rocking out at a concert. Last Saturday, while half of me was having a good time, the other half of me was wondering just how big of a carload I could move out of my apartment on Monday. What the hell, right? I was ecstatic when the band started playing "Drivin' on 9," one of their most popular songs; although I cheered and took a picture, I was debating whether I would move my kitchen utensils and appliances or my bedroom closet contents first when I blacked out and crumpled to the ground. Frankly, I was surprised that there was enough ground around me to fall on, given that more people had been gathering since the band had gone onstage.
Here's the last shot I took before I passed out. I'm so pissed that it wasn't even a good one, LOL.
You guys, I was FUCKING MORTIFIED. My first instinct was to check that my $$$ Breeders poster hadn't crumpled as well; it was fine. My second instinct was to wonder whether I'd gotten grass stains on my sundress (nope) or if people had seen my ass (this dress goes a bit over the knee). Several people helped me up, and a girl with curly blonde hair and a red skirt asked me if I was okay. For some reason, I told her I hadn't eaten. I guess I didn't want her to think I was some fucking alky.
I stood up. I feel like I stayed up no longer than 20 seconds before I went down AGAIN, because they weren't even halfway through "Drivin' on 9." At that point, the safety officer also helped me up, and had me lean on him as he walked me to a bench closer to the beer truck and away from the crowd. I remember him saying kindly, "You're okay" and getting a bottle of water for me. I think he knew I wasn't drunk because he'd seen me while I was at the merch table (trust me when I say rent a cops in college towns know drunk people). He patted me on the shoulder and went back to his post, leaving me to text B in a panicked daze. As I drank my water, I started to feel better, especially once I felt a cool breeze blow. By the way, I super appreciated Mr. Rent a Cop, because he could have been a royal jackass about the whole thing. So that was nice. Thank you, good sir.
I was starting to feel bad that I had to watch the concert from a short distance when Blondie Red Skirt walked over to me. She asked me if I was all right again. I thanked her and said I was feeling better. She told me to make sure I ate something, and handed me this:
Yay, drunk food. I was still full from dinner, but I nibbled this slowly and watched the set wrap up until it was time to leave. I was feeling steadier. Just ... also ... stupid. :/
Far away sads
Blondie Red Skirt swung back my way one last time, asking me if I would be okay to get home. Girl, I don't know who you are, but thanks for looking out for me! Seriously, I appreciated it.
I stayed on the phone with B until I got back to my car, and then drove shakily to Krysi's house, where I was planning on spending the night anyway. She and I stayed up till 3 a.m. talking -- I was so strung out, I couldn't sleep. I kept freaking out because I couldn't think of any warning signs (rapid heartbeat, blurred vision, etc.), but mostly because I'd been alone. That last one really did a number on me, because I go to so many places and do so many things by myself ... what if the situation had been more serious?
I still had my pass for the second day of the festival, but considering how Saturday had gone, I decided to skip Those Darlins. So Krysi and I just made a day of it, having lunch, shopping for polish and groceries, and OH YEAH, WE MADE THESE THINGS, TOO.
The recipe we'd looked at called for blue rock candy, but we couldn't find any. We improvised and used blue Jolly Ranchers instead, which, let me warn you guys ... that shit is HARD candy. And sticky. Krysi needed a hammer to crush them! I've never eaten rock candy, but I'm pretty sure you don't need a hammer for that. Oddly enough, that Jolly Rancher flavor didn't taste too bad with yellow cake and cream cheese icing. :)
... SIGH. What. A. Weekend.
If you would like to share your thoughts on Splish Splash, last year's ChG Summer Neons, the Breeders, the "Breaking Bad" premiere, or maybe an embarrassing fainting story, PLEASE DO! Whether it's a drunk fainting or sober fainting story doesn't matter to me -- now that I can say I've done both, they're both awful. This was *nothing* like drunkenly blacking out, because I know what that's like, and I haven't done that since I was 19, hahaha.
A note: I'm trying to get an appointment with my nurse practitioner in a few weeks. I don't know if she'll have any idea as to exactly why this happened, but the popular guesses (including my physician father's) are stress or vitamin deficiency. I haven't been taking care of myself lately, and I have been a little stressed out about money, moving and the eventual job hunt. I'm also a wee bit anemic and hypoglycemic, so who knows if that too had some part to play in this. The bottom line is that I'm all right now, and you know what? I'm probably going to avoid outdoor music festivals for a while.
But again, as many of us have said many, many times ... at least my nails look good. I also have bragging rights about seeing a killer band, a poster, and this story, I guess, so there's that.
Thanks for reading, and see you next week. This weekend should be a relatively quiet one, thank goodness!