Thursday, August 15, 2013

DRAMA ON THE HIGH SEAS! China Glaze Splish Splash, fainting spells, cannonballs & bonus meth cupcakes

It wasn't until Monday that I realized I'd completely left a sentence unfinished on Sunday's blog post. (I've fixed it.) MY B, you guys! But I was pretty shaken over the weekend because, uh ... I kind of fainted at a concert.



It was so. goddamn. embarrassing.

I can't even pretend I'm not still a little traumatized by that. Let me give you some background and show you the nails before I get into all of it, though.

Roughly a month ago, right before Krysi's bridal shower, I found out there was going to be an indie music festival in Richmond. I was about to roll my eyes to high heaven until I looked at the lineup of performers and saw that THE BREEDERS would be there, as would Those Darlins. I'd missed the Breeders when they came to D.C. in May because I'd gone to my friend P's wedding that day, and I didn't think they would swing by the VA area again. I remember saying, "Oh, SHIT" and spending too much money on a presale ticket for a 2-day pass.

Recently I scrolled through Haus of Polish for the first time in ages (that place is like a death trap, in the best possible way) and saw all the swatches of last year's China Glaze Summer Neons. They looked goooooood. And I owned two of them, still untried, so I decided to wear Splish Splash as my NOTWeekend.

--A happy accident, since the Breeders' 1993 album "Last Splash" has become a favorite of mine. Seriously, you cannot claim to be a '90s child and not know the guitar riff from "Cannonball." I'll be real: in 2003, I had no idea there was more to the band that gave us "Cannonball" -- remember, these were the dial-up Internet, pre-Soundhound days, and if you missed the DJ's blurb or the music video titles, you were SOL. But shit yeah, I knew that riff.

I also know this polish is pretty great.

Three coats with SV.

This isn't a neon, per se. It is hella bright, though. And I do love that glowy shimmer -- it elevates Splish Splash from the basic bright creme/neon category. So great.

The thing that really impressed me was its formula. It's very thin, so it looks like crap on the first coat, but it's opaque and amazing at three. It definitely needs to be built up, although the results are worth the effort. I think I was so thrilled with this because I think China Glaze Towel Boy Toy had this same result in mind, but its execution was CRAP. So Splish Splash was a complete upgrade. (I know people love Towel Boy Toy, but I'm sorry ... it needs a reformulation before I share those feelings!) Dry time and tip wear were average. I wore this for six days -- I was busy and didn't have time to change my polish ... at least this was a lot of fun to look at.

And at least my nails looked good before I went down like a 100-pound freshman girl practically trying to get alcohol poisoning on her first night back at campus after Christmas break.

I still have no idea what happened. I went to B's house and took this selfie with Sterling Meowlory before B and I had dinner at a barbecue joint.

Look at how much my precious baby wasn't having it.

Then I raced down to Brown's Island, where the festival was taking place. I had been killing time with B because I didn't want to spend all evening with drunk people by myself until the Breeders; it didn't hit me until Saturday morning that I was going to a music festival all alone-y on my own-y, and why on earth hadn't it occurred to me before then?!?! Anyway, by the time I got there, it was about 8:20-ish and it was starting to get dark. The weather was a bit humid and muggy, since it had rained earlier that day, but it could have been much worse.

You can see how dead it was, which is why I was SUPER confused. I was expecting epic crowds, kind of like what the city gets during the fall Folk Festival. I suppose Saturday night is what happens when you promote your event, oh, ONE MONTH before it starts. Because it was so dead, it took me forever to find the entrance, but the volunteers who helped me find it and greeted me were there pretty rad, so the festival got a point back.

I got my ticket along with my card for three free beers, to which all presale ticketholders were entitled. I stopped by the merch table first to pick up some Breeders swag, and decided on a super $$$ poster -- but I didn't feel bad about it, because it's their LSXX tour right now (20 years since "Last Splash"!). Then I got a beer from the truck, and started scouting for a spot close-ish to the stage. I stood to the left side, close enough to get OK pics, but far enough that if I had to leave for some reason, I wouldn't get trampled. I nursed my beer for the next 30 minutes, and halfway into it, the band came onstage.

I didn't even care that this shot blurs the heck out of Kim Deal's face because KIM DEEEEAAAAAAL.

They started playing through all of "Last Splash." It was EPIC. By that point I think a few more people had turned up, but the numbers were smaller than I thought they would be for a Breeders-loving town. However, the people who were there were having an awesome time. And so was I.

One of my most frustrating problems is that I have a hard time focusing 100% on any one thing, even if it's something I'm doing for fun, like writing a blog post or even rocking out at a concert. Last Saturday, while half of me was having a good time, the other half of me was wondering just how big of a carload I could move out of my apartment on Monday. What the hell, right? I was ecstatic when the band started playing "Drivin' on 9," one of their most popular songs; although I cheered and took a picture, I was debating whether I would move my kitchen utensils and appliances or my bedroom closet contents first when I blacked out and crumpled to the ground. Frankly, I was surprised that there was enough ground around me to fall on, given that more people had been gathering since the band had gone onstage.

Here's the last shot I took before I passed out. I'm so pissed that it wasn't even a good one, LOL.

You guys, I was FUCKING MORTIFIED. My first instinct was to check that my $$$ Breeders poster hadn't crumpled as well; it was fine. My second instinct was to wonder whether I'd gotten grass stains on my sundress (nope) or if people had seen my ass (this dress goes a bit over the knee). Several people helped me up, and a girl with curly blonde hair and a red skirt asked me if I was okay. For some reason, I told her I hadn't eaten. I guess I didn't want her to think I was some fucking alky.

I stood up. I feel like I stayed up no longer than 20 seconds before I went down AGAIN, because they weren't even halfway through "Drivin' on 9." At that point, the safety officer also helped me up, and had me lean on him as he walked me to a bench closer to the beer truck and away from the crowd. I remember him saying kindly, "You're okay" and getting a bottle of water for me. I think he knew I wasn't drunk because he'd seen me while I was at the merch table (trust me when I say rent a cops in college towns know drunk people). He patted me on the shoulder and went back to his post, leaving me to text B in a panicked daze. As I drank my water, I started to feel better, especially once I felt a cool breeze blow. By the way, I super appreciated Mr. Rent a Cop, because he could have been a royal jackass about the whole thing. So that was nice. Thank you, good sir.

I was starting to feel bad that I had to watch the concert from a short distance when Blondie Red Skirt walked over to me. She asked me if I was all right again. I thanked her and said I was feeling better. She told me to make sure I ate something, and handed me this:

Yay, drunk food. I was still full from dinner, but I nibbled this slowly and watched the set wrap up until it was time to leave. I was feeling steadier. Just ... also ... stupid. :/

Far away sads

Blondie Red Skirt swung back my way one last time, asking me if I would be okay to get home. Girl, I don't know who you are, but thanks for looking out for me! Seriously, I appreciated it.

I stayed on the phone with B until I got back to my car, and then drove shakily to Krysi's house, where I was planning on spending the night anyway. She and I stayed up till 3 a.m. talking -- I was so strung out, I couldn't sleep. I kept freaking out because I couldn't think of any warning signs (rapid heartbeat, blurred vision, etc.), but mostly because I'd been alone. That last one really did a number on me, because I go to so many places and do so many things by myself ... what if the situation had been more serious?

I still had my pass for the second day of the festival, but considering how Saturday had gone, I decided to skip Those Darlins. So Krysi and I just made a day of it, having lunch, shopping for polish and groceries, and OH YEAH, WE MADE THESE THINGS, TOO.

The recipe we'd looked at called for blue rock candy, but we couldn't find any. We improvised and used blue Jolly Ranchers instead, which, let me warn you guys ... that shit is HARD candy. And sticky. Krysi needed a hammer to crush them! I've never eaten rock candy, but I'm pretty sure you don't need a hammer for that. Oddly enough, that Jolly Rancher flavor didn't taste too bad with yellow cake and cream cheese icing. :)

... SIGH. What. A. Weekend.

If you would like to share your thoughts on Splish Splash, last year's ChG Summer Neons, the Breeders, the "Breaking Bad" premiere, or maybe an embarrassing fainting story, PLEASE DO! Whether it's a drunk fainting or sober fainting story doesn't matter to me -- now that I can say I've done both, they're both awful. This was *nothing* like drunkenly blacking out, because I know what that's like, and I haven't done that since I was 19, hahaha.

A note: I'm trying to get an appointment with my nurse practitioner in a few weeks. I don't know if she'll have any idea as to exactly why this happened, but the popular guesses (including my physician father's) are stress or vitamin deficiency. I haven't been taking care of myself lately, and I have been a little stressed out about money, moving and the eventual job hunt. I'm also a wee bit anemic and hypoglycemic, so who knows if that too had some part to play in this. The bottom line is that I'm all right now, and you know what? I'm probably going to avoid outdoor music festivals for a while.

But again, as many of us have said many, many times ... at least my nails look good. I also have bragging rights about seeing a killer band, a poster, and this story, I guess, so there's that.

Thanks for reading, and see you next week. This weekend should be a relatively quiet one, thank goodness!


  1. Giiiirl, you know my passing out stories. But for giggles, I've: passed out and fallen off my horse, passed out in the middle of hallway at school and had to go to the hospital aaaaand passed out, twice, at the check-out lane in Target (that was the


    I'm glad you're going to get checked out <3 I'm going to venture a guess and say your hypoglycemia and stress teamed up. Jerks.

    But your nails are totes rad =)

    1. Okay, I didn't know about the horse story. OMFG, ANNA. The woooooorst (TM Jean-Ralphio).

      <3 you!!!

  2. Ooh I'm a champion at passing out. I've fainted in the middle of a softball game--went down in the outfield. No one came to help me because they thought I was doing pushups? During a chem test--got the test postponed. Talking to my mom about the Discovery channel. Every morning after a hard night of drinking--usually when I'm dangerously close to sink edges. That's how I know I'm going to be hungover forever. :(

    Glad you're getting it checked out, and hopefully they find some teensy, easy to solve problem! And the most important things: your nails look fab and the poster is ok!

    1. Please comment more because I laughed way too hard at the push-ups bit there. But I find it really effed up that no one went to help you! Holy CRAP.

      Ah, yes. I go through a lot for my posters, haha.

  3. Goodness - glad you are going to be checked up...
    Such a pretty shade...and I have it also in my Never Been Tries too - I need to pull out a few of the neons before summer is over...I went over board and bought like 35 - all I can say is I have worn maybe 6 of them - have my favs and others I just looked at and thought why did I buy this???

    1. Ooh, yeah. You need to wear them soon! I have a bunch of Funky Fingers & Cosmetic Arts neons from a couple of years ago and haven't touched them, either.

  4. My goodness, that must have been scary! The only time I passed out, I was in a hospital with nurses and my husband around.

    1. The scariest part was that I was completely alone (total strangers, sure, but no one I actually knew). :( Oh geez. At least you were in the best possible place to be when that happened!

  5. I've never fainted...feel like I am missing out on something. I have that Breeders Last Splash CD from back in the day when you had to buy CDs. 20 years!?! :( Feeling old...

    So I guess I missed something, and I thought I had kept up on things around're moving?

    1. Missing out on what, exactly??? If you're talking about fainting, you're not missing a thing! And I know, I was 6-7 when that CD came out. And that was back when cassette tapes were a little more prevalent than portable CD players, hahahaha.

      I'm moving back to my parents' house, where I spend most of my time anyway because no one else will hire me. :(

  6. :O Holy crap, that is freaky! I'm glad you're getting checked out. I only have one fainting story but it is sorta goofy. I was on some painkillers for a wicked combo of sinus infection and wisdom tooth pain, and I went to the dining hall to get some food, except everything went white, I couldn't remember where I was, and all I could hear was this roaring, ocean-like noise. And then I walked into the salad bar and promptly passed out. Whoops.

    You and Sterling are super cute, and Splish Splash is hella bright and awesome! I finally caught up to Breaking Bad and watched the newest episode, and OMG. NO WORDS. Just flailing. Those cupcakes look and sound delicious too!

    1. NAZ. OMG. I feel for you ... how embarrassing! :( But painkillers will do that to you. Damn.

      Aw, thank you. He's my little selfie buddy, whether he likes it or not.

      I can't believe there are only 6 more episodes left. And the finale airs the day after my friend's wedding, so we won't be able to watch together. :((((((

  7. OMG, I would never go to something like that by myself! AAAAHHH!! That would completely scare me! My guy gets so crazy worried about me going out by myself. I can't even walk the dog by myself if it's like a creepy wooded area, there has to be people around. People scare me, but thank god for good people like the blonde! I still remember going to a Blink 182 concert right after graduating high school and being in the mosh pit (that sounds so lame...) and getting completely freaked out. I have a personal bubble, and you do not want to be in a mosh pit with a personal bubble. I could not get out of there, and some guy was grabbing my leg trying to lift me up. Major panic mode. I remember the tiniest girl (happened to be blonde too), grab my arm, and elbow people out of the way for me. It was kinda amazing. I thanked her for my life, cause I thought I was going to die! LOL! I had "kinda" a similar fainting issue like your at a concert as well. I was seeing Ingrid Michaelson (for the second time, love her!) and I remember standing there and getting really light headed, and having that "I'm going to faint if I don't sit down". I had been having lightheaded episodes like this for weeks now. I thought I had a brain tumor (yeah, that's where my mind goes). After booking a Dr appt, come to find I have crystals in my inter ear which are misplaced. FOR REALZ! LOL! It's called benign positional vertigo, and it comes and goes from time to time. All my Dr had to do was a simple weird head tilting thing. I don't know if you symptoms are similar to mine, but how awesome would you feel to tell people your ear crystals are unaligned?!? Yeah, I know....pretty awesome!!

    Dude, you are so like me, I can't focus AT ALL!! That's why it takes me like 2 hours to write a blog post sometimes! Especially if I'm not just talking about the polish. I will seriously READ A NOVEL and think of work, what I'm doing the next day, what are we having for dinner, as I'm reading! Who does that?!? I will realized I haven't at all paid attention to what I'm reading after like a page and have to go back and read it again.

    Anyways, Splish Splash looks great on you. I totally don't remember this one from last year. And I know what you mean about Towel Boy Toy. Wow is that a watery polish!

    1. Oh, and SMA.....precious! Love the face!

    2. I don't care that I was alone at that concert, because it wasn't really the kind of affair that would make people rowdy assholes. (Apparently, a Dropkick Murphys show? IT SURE WAS.)

      Bahahaha, ear crystals? Whaaaaaaaaaat. O__O I have vertigo, too -- but I don't think it's quite like yours!

      Dude, I just spaced out writing a reply to this comment. :( My lack of focus probably also explains why I'm the worst correspondent ever! I read things, but sometimes I'm not in the frame of mind to give a coherent response. WHAT THE HECK.

      SMA gives good bitchface. He's in his energetic, bitey teenage phase. :( I hope he mellows out soon ... he's still sweet, but I miss all the cuddles I used to get from him last year.

  8. I have a fantastic fainting story. Actually I've got a few. I'm unlucky enough to have been blessed with whatever makes people faint easily, but the very worst one was almost 10 yrs ago. I was in my first trimester with my first kiddo and I was at work. I had this cute little old lady who was 90 if she was a day, sitting in my chair, while I slapped color onto her old lady hair. I just remember being like excuse me I feel a little weird and I went and got a drink and came back and resumed then I was like I'm so sorry I just feel strange do you mind if I sit down for a second. The last thing I remember is sitting in the salon chair next to my own. Then I woke up with my work bestie and her client IN MY FACE. Her client had half a head of highlights foiled and was checking my pulse while my other co-workers WERE ON THE PHONE WITH THE EFFING AMBULANCE! Freaking paramedics show up and cart my butt off ON A STRETCHER and take me to the hospital in front of the entire salon and complex I worked in. *mortifying* Sadly, I kept having the fainting spells til about 6 months along, but my doctor taught me that if I started feeling weird again to *immediately* lay down on the ground, no matter where I was. My clients and the whole salon had to think I was insane. I can't count how many times I was just chillin on the floor talking up to my clients like SO tell me bout how you've been since your last haircut! I'll stand up here in just a second I promise. *sigh*

    1. ANGE. (I'm saying Ange because this sounds like an Ange story for some reason) OH MY GOD. Seriously, thanks for sharing this story -- I laughed so hard reading this comment. Half a head of foiled highlights? HAHAHAHAHA. But I would be beyond mortified, too. :(

  9. Yikes - so glad you were OK. And "blondie" was awfully nice to keep checking on you. Sounds like low blood pressure to me. Getting up quickly after passing out the first time would repeat the drop in blood pressure, and boom! Down again. Glad you are getting it checked out.

    The only time I've ever passed out was on the subway (I live in the DC metro area). I had given blood the day before, and had not eaten breakfast or had anything to drink before my morning commute. The train was packed like always, so I was standing the whole trip. I started feeling woozy and nauseated, told my boyfriend I felt weird, and rested my forehead on his shoulder. That's the last thing I remember - I went down like a ton of bricks. I came to sitting on one of the seats, drenched in a cold sweat. The train had been stopped in a tunnel due to traffic, and all I knew is that I did NOT want anyone to call the train operator. Then I would be THAT GUY who screwed up everyone's morning commute. "Delays on the Orange Line due to a sick customer..." That was NOT going to be me even if I had to crawl off the train! :) A lovely lady offered me a bottle of water and her homemade zucchini muffin. I exited the train at the next stop, sat down, and stuck my head between my knees until I felt better and then wobbled the rest of the way to work. It freaks me out that I lost time - I've never blacked out from alcohol or fainted before, so it was scary!

    1. I think you're right about the second time having to do with low blood pressure. But boo for this happening at a concert! Why couldn't I have passed out at my boyfriend's house or something?, lol.

      HO.LY. CRAP. I'm glad your boyfriend was with you, and that another passenger tried to feed you! I can't imagine passing out on the metro -- the WMATA is THE WORST. :( (On the flip side, maybe one day we'll cross paths!)


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