Monday, August 26, 2013

Funky Fingers Jawbreaker

Note: As I'm writing this post, it's Friday night and I have the worst headache I've had in months. But I wanted to blog this polish because I have NO IDEA what this week holds until Thursday -- our bachelorette trip to Louisville starts on the 30th. I'm so excited and stressed out, I might barf. (Literally.)

When my friend Chelsea was visiting at the beginning of July, we stopped at the Five Below near my apartment because she'd never been to one before -- apparently they don't have Five Belows in Nashville (or Tennessee), which is so weird to me because there are five in the Richmond area. Anyway, that store is great if you love cheap polish, cheap cell phone car chargers and the occasional $5 DVD, so I figured it was worth a visit. As I remember it, Chels didn't find anything to take home that day ... but I did. This was one of them, as was this polish right here:




Three coats with one coat of Gelous under one coat of SV.








While he was ringing me up, my Five Below cashier remarked that this polish reminded him of Pop-Tarts. I don't see it, but I've only ever eaten Pop-Tarts on maybe five occasions in my life, and they didn't look a thing like this. Jawbreakers, though? Absolutely.

It's worth noting that Funky Fingers Jawbreaker might resemble another indie, Pretty & Polished Jawbreaker -- at least, it does in pictures. I don't own the P&P, but I prefer the Funky Fingers because it doesn't contain bar glitter, which is really not my favorite. I love the color combination of the glitters, and I also love that the colors are bold and really stand out against the milky white base. Love.

The formula was better than I expected it to be. I was worried that it would be a gloopy mess, but it wasn't -- it reminded me of the formula on HARE polishes, which have been pretty good, in my experience. The milky white base takes at least three coats to build up to opacity. If you want it to look white WHITE, I'd recommend going for a fourth coat ... or try layering Jawbreaker over something like OPI Don't Touch My Tutu. ;) Dry time was really fast with Gelous and SV, and it doesn't dry bumpy or gritty, so that's always appreciated.

I've been to Five Below a few times in the past few weeks, and this polish is still there. For $2, you can have this, or pick up two more Funky Fingers polishes and you're good for the 3 for $5 deal. Juuuuust sayin'.

I only wish I loved this timeless relic of the late '90s half as much as I love this polish (spoilers afoot if you've never seen it):


("Eight Arms to Hold You" was THE TITS., and still is ... 
I'll totally fight you)


Pardon me for saying it, but "Jawbreaker" was a MESS. Yes, Rose McGowan was beyond great. I just felt like that movie didn't come close to what it could have been. (However, I will concede that the name "Vylette" is fucking HILAROUS.) That's okay, though, because 1999 brought us these far superior high school satires, none of which I actually watched until I was well out of high school:






But this? Just one girl's opinion, of course. Do you agree with me on any of these movies? What are your feelings on Funky Fingers Jawbreaker? If you own Pretty & Polished Jawbreaker, are the two polishes even close enough to be comparable? Would you like to see the last Funky Fingers polish I picked up from this particular haul? Sound off in the comments and give me something to read during my lunch break!

Hopefully I'll have one more post for you this week before I head off to Kentucky -- that is, if my body doesn't stage a full-blown revolt. :(

18 comments:

  1. I LOVE Election(and admittedly, watched it far after I was out of school).

    Also, I love Jawbreaker on you! I can kind of see the Poptarts reference, especially that of the frosted strawberry variety.

    Hope you feel better <3

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    1. Thanks! <3 I'm feeling a little better. Also ... I just Googled "frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts," and now I get it. *is lame*

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  2. PP Jawbreaker doesn't have bar glitter, at least I don't have any in my bottle. There is however square glitter, which is really fun. This Jawbreaker looks like a fun bunch of glitter!

    And BTW, we don't have any Five Below's in the PNW. But then again, we have lots of Fred Meyer's which carry lots of Essence. So bam! : )

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    1. I did some Google Image searching, and a lot of people's swatches contain tiny green bar glitter. But I don't know if that particular glitter has always been there, or if that was something more batch-specific.

      Yes! I remember Fred Meyer being out there, but I don't remember much about it except for this one time my aunt bought me a corndog because she "knows what kids like." (I hate corndogs.) /csb

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  3. This is p. great, as are all of those movies.

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    1. Kirstie Alley, Ellen Barkin and Allison Janey were EVERYTHING in "Drop Dead Gorgeous."

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  4. I want this when mynails grow out. UGH

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  5. I've never lived anywhere that has a Five Below, either, which sucks because Funky Fingers seems like such a great brand. This polish is so fun, though!

    And the movie Jawbreaker IS terrible, but deliciously so. '90s movies were so weird (The Craft? Whaaaat?).

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    1. Oh man. Now I feel like I need to have a giveaway with this or something! ;)

      LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO, THE CRAFT *ugly laughing*

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  6. Ugh I wish we had 5 Belows here in Tennessee! I want this one super super bad. Jawbreaker was my fave movie back in high school when it first came out
    _a

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    1. I'll get at you on the tweeter! xo

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  7. I'm so behind on my blog reading/commenting. Ugh!

    I love this polish. I've not been to my Five Below yet but I might have to...

    90s movies. YES. Drop Dead Gorgeous is one of my favorites of all time. It's just so hysterical.

    ...I've never seen Jawbreaker, Election, or But I'm a Cheerleader *ducks* I KNOW! I'm terrible. Actually, I might have seen Election YEARS ago. *adds to queue*

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    1. Ahhhh, you need to go to it and grab this!!!

      "Election" is so great. So great. "Drop Dead Gorgeous" great, but in a different way. Go watch them!!!

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  8. We don't have a five below in my town and I have been searching endlessly for jawbreaker or a good dupe to purchase it. I must have this polish. Great swatches by the way.

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    1. Hi Chloe, thanks for reading! If you don't have a Five Below, do you have a nearby Bed Bath & Beyond with a Harmon's? They sell Color Club, and people seem to be finding Color Club For You to be a dupe. It's in a mini bottle. Funky Fingers and Color Club are both Forsyth Cosmetics properties, so if you can find For You, you're set! Hope this helps.

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