Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Essie Brides No Grooms: Mitten State Wedding Megapost/"Rach vs. Mercury"

Today is my 4th blogaversary, but since I'm in a weird place right now, we'll have to postpone the fanfare. Let's just say I didn't expect to be hit with the random urge to blog, so unlike Ron Burgundy and his "yazz flute," I am extremely unprepared. It's been a strange time and I'd rather celebrate when there's something to celebrate, so let's do that, shall we?

Anyway, if you're still reading my friend Stephanie's blog (which you should) or following us on Instagram (which you also should if you love Remy and SMA), then you know we both attended our girl Anna's Michigan wedding back in May.


--Not the wedding, of course. It was lovely, and I'll get to that in a second. No, the entire process of getting to Michigan was such an ordeal-slash-clusterfuck; I guess you could say that things went as well as they possibly could've during retrograde. I never put too much stock in all that fauxstrology? superstition? before, until Madeline and I kept texting each other "#blamemercury" because the entirety of this last retrograde was beyond brutal. Some boring and annoying details went awry while preparing for this trip, but throw in awful weather on our leg to Cleveland, a nail in the tire of my rental car during a major U.S. holiday travel weekend, Steff's dad's motorcycle accident (!!!), and a handful of other minor snafus on that trip alone, and there you have it. Looking back -- and it feels like a million years ago now -- I cannot believe B and I got there and back in one piece.

But we survived, so let me show you what I slapped on my nails all of TWENTY MINUTES before running out of our hotel room to Anna's ceremony. In the days leading up to this trip, neither Steff nor I had had a chance to do our nails. Although we managed to pull it together in the end, the struggle was so real.

Three coats with SV. Only two should be necessary, but this is me, come on now.

A few weeks or so before the wedding, I didn't know what I wanted to wear, so I polled some of my nail-savvy friends with outfit + nail options via text. Almost everyone voted for Brides No Grooms, maybe for the wedding/bridal vibes. I wasn't super keen on it because it seemed like it was going to be a little matchy-matchy with my cardigan, buuuut it turned out to be the best choice in the end.

For one thing, you can see that the color, while not particularly unique, is pretty bombass. For another, the formula was FANTASTIC, whether you're taking your time applying it or hurrying before your friend's wedding starts. It's that good. No problems here! (Which is good, because I feel like I had problems with too many things that weekend.) I wore it for another week and I'm pretty sure I had some chips and tip wear, because hey, it was a rough few days.

Brides No Grooms was released this spring for the Essie's 2015 bridal collection. I heard so-so things about the other polishes in terms of formula, nor are the colors unique compared to previous Essie bridal offerings (including this polish), so you probably could live without them. --I say this, but now I'm slightly interested in Hubby for Dessert despite its cringeworthy name, after seeing a model wear it in a magazine. It'll probably pop up at TJ Maxx in a few months, so I can wait. Now that the drugstore displays for Essie Bridal 2015 might be gone by this point in the summer, you still should be able to snag it at Ulta or quite easily online.

So: good nails, good friends, good party. Retrograde or not, I would call it a success! Here are some snaps from that weekend that you might've already seen on my Instagram.

We left a little later than I wanted to and braved torrential rain all the way from Virginia to the Ohio state border in a little Mazda 2 that clearly was not meant for those conditions on a highway. Oddly enough, the traffic was worse in Maryland than it was leaving NOVA/D.C., but that was the worst we dealt with on the drive to Cleveland. And at least we didn't get stuck in construction traffic (thank you, federal holiday!). We made good time, considering; the drive also was a little easier due to us having made that same trip last September. But there were a couple of moments on the highway where I reaaaaaally thought we were going to die. I'm glad we didn't, because this was waiting for us on the other end ...

Stephanie got the phone call about her dad's accident on her way to dinner, so she left Ben to eat our well-deserved grilled cheese with us while she went to be with her dad at the hospital. (Side note, I can't imagine what a terrifying phone call that was to get, and I'm very glad the accident wasn't worse than it was. And to that end, no matter what Steff's gonna say about it, it meant a lot to me that she was cool with having us spend a couple nights at her place, even under those circumstances. So thanks again, Steff, Ben, and Remy!)

B: "Are you going take pictures of the cat all night?"
Me: "Maybe. But I'm doing it for the Internet."
Ben: "That's fine, he loves it!"

He loved it.

Watching "The Road Warrior" with Ben, B, and me. #demasslesschapsdoe

Before leaving for Michigan, we were able to make it to the Inn on Coventry, famous for its lemon ricotta pancakes. Believe the hype. So jealous of you guys who live in the area and are closer to these pancakes than I am!

The drive to Michigan was long, but it was really beautiful. I was snarking a little bit and thinking, "Oh, now I'm here, am I going to be all #PureMichigan now?" I would've taken some shitty iPhone pics, but that's kind of hard to do when you're (1) driving in unknown territory and relying solely on GPS, and (2) laughing so hard at "How Did This Get Made" that you can't sit up straight. The weather was nice and sunny and even though we made a wrong turn that had us arriving at our hotel minutes later than Steff & Ben (who left Ohio after we did!), it was still a good time. We did have dinner at a strangely empty wine bar that night and an awesome lunch together the next day ... Steff was able to do her nails before lunch, but since I let myself sleep a little later, I only had time to do something to my hair before that. As soon as we got back in the hotel room, I ironed my dress, put it on, and *barely* had time to fix my nails and attempt to put on lipstick. (Also a struggle, because I forgot my lip primer. Sigh.) I slapped on SV, stood next to the air conditioner to dry those suckers, then made B grab my purse before running across the street to Anna's ceremony venue.

And then it was time for my most photogenic friends to get married.


Oh hi, Brides No Grooms.

Anna's dad's toast

First dance

I keep saying everything was a struggle, but when I got to hug Anna in the receiving line, it was so incredibly worth it to see her happy, beaming little face. It was fun to see her dress in person (I remember when she bought it) and I'll be real, Steff and I were like, "YOU'RE HARDLY WEARING ANY MAKEUP, WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE?" Seriously, Anna and Bryant are so adorable, it's ridiculous. It was funny when Anna sat down at our table for a few minutes, so Steff and I were able to chat with her a little bit and get some face time. :) Thanks for inviting us, Anna!

Which brings me to this: You know that thing where on top of how obnoxious you already are as an individual, you become even more obnoxious when you're with certain friends? It's probably for the best that Steff and I aren't able to get together often, because we're pretty good at being bad together. Part of me thinks we might have trolled Anna and Bryant's friends at our table a little bit ... we said my hairdo had been accomplished via goat sacrifice. Also at one point, Steff was joking that maybe I should try on her wedding ring and my somewhat loud, inebriated response went in the vein of

(source: dragaholic.com)

Yup. #getthatmarcjacobsbussybianca

The next day, B and I drove back to Cleveland juuuuust in time to meet Ben and his friend for "Max Max: Fury Road" in 3D before the Cavs game. OMG, that movie was unreal. I loved it. I love Bane. I think I want my next birthday party to be either "Hannibal" or "Fury Road" themed, I loved it so much.

I also loved hanging out with Remy, but who doesn't? I was curious to see if he would end up in the guest bedroom with B and me, and he totally did. He was such a little ham, but his parents are kinda hams, so. ;)

B and I didn't discover the nail in our tire until we parked right in front of Steff's apartment, and by that point, it was too late to do anything about it on a holiday weekend. :/ Steff offered to let us stay the holiday/Monday night with her, too, but B had to be back at work on Tuesday, so he changed the donut and we limped the 30-40 minute drive from Steff's place to the airport, which was the only rental car branch open on the holiday. That was extremely not a fun drive, but again ... we survived. I didn't get charged extra for a new rental and we were able to make it safely back to Virginia that night. --Sure, I ended up leaving my Kacey Musgraves CD in the Mazda 2, buuuut I would rather that than, say, a car accident or other disastrous delay on the way back.


After the Mazda 2, I could not have been more in love with this Toyota Yaris than I was.

Mr. Archer was happy we made it home, too. B's mom watched him again while we were gone, and he was a very good boy. I just think he missed us. :)

The night before we left:

The morning after we got home:

I ended up spending a few days with B and with my sister after we got back ... the getaway after the getaway was a welcome little change from the monotony, for sure. It was nice to relax after stressing nonstop because Mercury is one thing, but Mercury when you are miles and miles away from your normal environment is quite another.

Oh, and here's this thing we found in B's tire on the way to return the Yaris. Madeline and I were basically all, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?1?!?!!" because of course.

And you know what, that nail is still in there. It's more or less plugging its own hole (ha) for now, though I think B will replace it eventually, i.e., when it gets worse. Oh well.

There you have it, my quick trip Midwest for Anna's wedding, over a month later. I'm sorry if this post was sort of anticlimactic or lame, but it is what it is. I'm just glad I was able to share some of it. I'm glad we survived the retrograde! (My next wedding in September is the weekend the next retrograde starts. Should I just save the trouble and RSVP no now? Haha.) Mainly, I'm glad I was able to see Anna on her big day, and that I was able to stay with & spend some time with Steff. It's been such a wonderful, trippy thing to be able to attend both their weddings. I do love those girls -- girls who I definitely would not have gotten to know were it not for our love of polish. Not too shabby.

Those same feelings, might I add, extend to all of you who read Stuff. You've seen me through the good NOTD photos, the questionable ones, some real life highs, some word vomit-tastic lows, and everything in between -- sadly, that's more than some of my friends have gotten to know about me lately because we're all spread out and rarely get to talk. I'm annoying and messy, but what twentysomething isn't? Look, if you're gonna read someone who's annoying and messy, you might as well hang out here and look at my nails. ;)

It's been a lot of fun sharing the polish love with you, and to those of you who've taken a few minutes to read, comment, or e-mail me: Thank you for everything these last four years! I hope I made it worth your while. As long as I keep posting here, I hope I continue to do just that ... at least, until the next retrograde. ;) ;) ;) But I'll hang in there if you do, too.

One more time, THANK YOU. <3 you, mean it.


  1. Aw hey, look at you! Posting on the blog! And I missed it! I'm gonna blame getting back from Colorado, having my mom stay with us and then attending two weddings a week later. SO MANY WEDDINGS.

    I love this colour on you. Unique? No. But fantastic? YES. I surely don't need another magenta/dark pink but I may try to hunt this down.

    Wasn't Mad Max the shiz? Charlize Theron blew me away; she was so badass. I had always liked her as an actress but I think Mad Max turned me into a hardcore fangirl. Like, anyone who can play Rita in Arrested Development and Furiosa equally successfully gets my vote for sure

    Congrats on the Blogiversary!

    1. It's wedding season! What are ya gonna do? :p If you can hunt this down, definitely do it. You will not be sorry. I need more polishes like a bullet to the head, but this was too much to resist.

      Furiosa was fantastic. I wasn't crazy about Rita but the whole "FOR BRITISH EYES ONLY" gag makes me laugh every damn time. (And "It's my tiny teddy!") Anyway, I left that movie wondering what features will be on the DVD/Blu, which is always a good sign. Plus, I'm convinced EVERY MOVIE needs a flame throwing guitarist strapped to a truck. Yes, please.

      Thanks for everything, Jess! I'm so glad we were able to connect through this blog. <3

    2. Yeah, "it's my tiny teddy" makes me laugh just thinking about it. I also liked the Julia Roberts/Pretty Woman jewelry box closing spoof, even though it's not a super unique gag.

      And me too!xo

    3. Oh man, they did that Pretty Woman gag SOOOOOOOOO GOOD in the first season of "30 Rock" (episode title: "Black Tie").

  2. I'm not sure when I started reading your blog, but I do remember one of the first posts I read was http://www.stuffiswatched.blogspot.com/2011/10/urban-outfitters-hot-tub.html. I remember thinking this is hilarious! And so different from all the other blogs out there, so I bookmarked the page, and became a reader. And a fan. It took me a long time to comment, but I'm glad I finally did :) Congrats on the blogiversary, even if you're not celebrating it yet!

    1. OMG, I completely forgot about that post, but I went back through and read it, and I'm cracking up because I just finished OITNB S3 last night and there was a hysterical "Jersey Shore" reference in it. (Also, I still like UO polishes. WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD?!?!)

      Thanks for reading and for being a pal, Leissa. It's always so nice to hear from you -- I'm glad you're commenting more! <3


Thank you for checking out my little nail blog! I do read and appreciate your comments and/or feedback, although it might take me a few days to get back to you. Time-sensitive inquiries should be directed to my e-mail address (rachswatched@gmail).

Please be polite and respectful when responding to others' comments in a post; if you are rude, I will delete your comment and Hannibal Lecter will eat you. Please don't leave spam comments with blog links -- it's tacky and I don't do it. Neither should you.