Wednesday, August 5, 2015

OPI Girls Love Ponies (and "Magic Mike XXL")

Well, this girl loved "XXL." I never went through a pony or horse phase as a little girl, but between this and "Parks and Rec," I'm definitely in a "Pony" phase.* Anyone who is in constant contact with me will sigh and tell you that I will not shut up about the Channing Tatum movies I've been watching with Madeline -- they're so wonderfully ridiculous. Since we aren't blaming Mercury for everything at the moment (at least, not for another month), we're blowing through some real gems in his filmography** and constantly asking each other just why we're so charmed by this no-neck dudebro potato-looking motherfucker. He is objectively not good-looking, so I don't get it, but I'm not gonna fight it because #yearofpotatum.

Also, it's August. What. The. Hell. *screams into pillow*

But first, for your #waybackwednesday viewing pleasure/hilarity:


That's cool, it's not like we're looking at his face or anything but speaking of faces, LMAO @ this girl's expression


Ladies Queens, I deeply regret not seeing "XXL" at midnight on release day because you know it would have ended with me throwing $1 bills (a.k.a. my toll money) at the screen. It's not as raunchy as it could be, but I think that's for the best. It's just a lot of fun. My point is, GO SEE IT. BRING YOUR FRIENDS. (Or, in my case, bring your sister, then your aunt.) And then if you have a significant other or whatever, let that person reap the rewards of your "XXL" experience when you get back.

Because, yeah ... it's certainly an experience. If you have any qualms about going to see this movie, look no further than Roxane Gay's "XXL" recap on The Toast (spoilers ahoy!, just FYI). I will read anything Roxane Gay writes, so I pretty much died at her recap. It, much like this polish, is too legit.

Note: I had to fiddle with these photos a little bit so you could see just how insanely saturated this color is.




Two coats with SV. How stinking cute is the plastic pony wrapper on the cap? Also, pardon the clean-up lines ... my brush is on the way out. You wouldn't even notice this in person. Boo.











All right, all right, alllllll riiiiiiiight. (Sorry, I had to.) Unless you adore the name, blue-leaning pink cremes, or last year's LE OPI Ford Mustang collection, then you can skip this one. OPI put out three LE pink cremes in 2014 alone: Hey Baby, this polish, and 50 is the New Fabulous (Sally Beauty anniversary exclusive). I have them all because I cannot turn down a blue-toned pink; I know it's not particularly en vogue to love pink polish if you're not an uber girly girl, but DAMN IT, they look so good on me and I love this one so freakin' much.

Its formula? Flawless. I usually do 3 coats, but this was so good in 2 that I let it be. Dry time was excellent and wear was great (2 days, no chips and minor tipwear -- not bad for doing lots of dishes without gloves tbh). What more could you want, besides another bottle? ;)

Which brings me to this word of warning: If you find the 4-piece OPI Mustang Pony Pack, the little bottle that's supposed to be Girls Love Ponies is actually NOT Girls Love Ponies! Lame. I don't know if this is true for you, but every set I saw at Ulta and TJ Maxx/Marshalls did not contain the true GLP; I'm not totally sure what polish it is, but it's a bright neon pink with blue shimmer. So if you are a sucker for pinks like this then I suggest you buy it online, which is what I did.

So yeah ... this polish is great and "XXL" is great. I guarantee you will not leave that theater without a smile on your face. I can't wait for it to come to the discount theater in Richmond or out on Blu-ray/DVD! You better believe I'm pre-ordering that shit because the day will come when literally nothing will cheer me up ... except this movie.

Do you like pink cremes? Do you enjoy silly movies about male strippers going on road trips? (HOW BADASS was Jada Pinkett Smith? OH MAH GAWD. #yassssssqueen) Have you also given yourself over to the charisma of Hollywood's most charming potato? I remember posting about "Magic Mike" in 2012; a couple of months after that, I saw "21 Jump Street" with Tara and we hopped on that bandwagon right away. I mean, if he hadn't won me over back then, his Reddit AMA would've done it. Just ... the guy's favorite Disney character is the broom from "Fantasia." I'm DEAD. And he loves Pinterest, which is too funny because I don't love it (it's too overwhelming for me. It's like Tumblr. There's just too much to sift through).

Thanks for reading! I'll catch you next week. Pony out.



P.S. Much like the original "Magic Mike" movie, my only real beef (ha) is that I would have liked to see Christopher Meloni as a ~male entertainer. You know he's great with comedy. What's more, if you watched "Oz," then you also know that the man's body is good for it. #dreamcasting #sigh

* Can you call almost two decades "a phase"? I CANNOT BELIEVE "Pony" will be TWENTY YEARS OLD next year. I mentioned it to Janice, who screamed, "Don't tell me that!"

** We watched "The Eagle" last month because neither of us had ever heard of it, despite Jamie Bell being Madeline's favorite. That movie was some serious D-list "Gladiator" shit peppered with many delicious slashy moments -- or was it the other way around? -- we couldn't handle it. Hilariously enough, my parents actually liked it and thought it was a legitimately good movie, so you know this means I need the DVD like now. Okay, Pony out for real.

2 comments:

  1. Dang you...another pink creme lemming created! (I totally went out and bought Essie Brides Bo Grooms because of you). I probably don't NEED this but it looks awesome on you, and I also uncoolly cannot resist a good pink (or red for that matter). Seriously, what looks as awesome as a good pink or red creme on your tips?

    So. Channing Tatum. Yeah, I don't get it. He does nothing for me. I'm not generally one for beefcakes. I saw Magic Mike on a plane and felt slightly embarrassed. Does that make me a prude? Possibly. I did end up enjoying White House Down a lot more than I thought. Solid action film, although precocious preteen characters really grate on me, and the Emily character was no exception.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Girl, if you're cool waiting a few more months, I could probably snag this for you, no problem. ;) And while pink and red nails are undeniably appealing, I think I'm more into green right now! Merp.

      Like I said ... objectively not good looking, but SO FREAKING CHARMING. Apparently that goes a long way for me, or I need to redefine "charming." :D Never saw "White House Down," but maaaaaaaaybe we'll get on that for our next movie night ...

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